A few weeks ago, I turned 28. It dawned on me that it’s been a decade since I first became an adult. A decade since the point whence I should’ve been or was of appropriate age to be responsible for my own life. If only it were that simple! If only growing up was all it took to prepare one to shoulder the responsibility of life.

For me, uncommon to many, life has had its fair share of trials and tribulations, and the thought of becoming an adult at 18, has had little to no bearing on shouldering life’s responsibilities, past or present.

Am I proud of the man I was at 18? In many ways, YES, but in some ways, absolutely NOT!

I had the privilege of growing up in an unrelenting household. A place where fighting for what is right, trumped what felt right, or what society deemed right. A place where my shortcomings were not tossed under the rug, undealt with, but a place of confrontation, and doses of reality checks ever so often. A place where I had my own voice, freedom of expression, but also a place of contestation that challenged and evolved my ideology. A place where I became an independent thinker far earlier than one is expected to, because I stood akin 3 strong women (my mother, and sisters) who had their own ideology coupled with great character and unrelenting spirits. We bickered, we fought, ever so often, but we weathered every storm together. What typically would be a parent led household, was instead an equal footing relationship where none was less or more important than the other, regardless of age. We were adults going through childhood, responsible for not only ourselves, but one another and the household at large. Being an adult for me, started a decade before I even turned 18. Funny enough, for this past decade where I have been legally an adult, life has felt a lot easier to navigate because I did not have to suddenly grow up or suddenly take the burden of ownership over my life and its wellbeing. It was always there.

But here’s how life’s changed and what hasn’t.

At 18, I had my first official girlfriend. At 28, I am now married to someone else entirely, thankfully so. At 18, I was living in my unique chaotic household back in Kenya. At 28, I live half-way across the world in a small peaceful apartment with my wife in Sydney. At 18, my family and I were financially struggling (broke as they say). At 28, my siblings and I all have successful careers, and my mum (still navigating entrepreneurial challenges) knows her young adults, now fully grown, will look after her no matter what. At 18, I had a skinny unathletic physique, almost malnourished you can say. At 28, I am in the best shape of my life, scratching elite level fitness. SKINNY WHO? I don’t know what you’re talking about, I am physically unrecognisable to my old self. At 18, I was a stubborn, hardheaded kid, who backed down for nobody and at no obstacle. At 28, I am much the very same, with the exception of mellowing down for my wife. Those who are married know, obvious reasons. I’d do almost anything for Neeti, literally have, many a times. At 18, I had a band of brothers, on whom I’d pour life and love. At 28, I am still bromancing with some of the same faces, and some new ones too. At 18, I had a chaotic relationship with my mum and sisters. At 28, I have a very close relationship with my mum and eldest sister and have drifted apart (faults on my part) with my other sister. At 18, I was still in school, mucking around with no regard for rules, and no care about life or others. At 28, I am still mucking around, carefully within the rules of law as an adult (inserts necessary disclaimer). But I care for the lives of those close to me ever so deeply and cherish my life and its longevity.

I could go on and on, where much of who I was, still remains true with a childlike state of living, and much of who I am becoming, grows from the grassroots of the adulthood journey I began since I was a youngling. Life was, and is an adventure, but its dichotomic nature is a lot more evident to me now.

To my 18-year-old self, if I could go back and change anything, I’d simply say this:
“Do not believe everything you’re told, everything you see, everything you are. For the lifelong journey you are embarking in the fog of adulthood, you can only see what’s right ahead of you, and for as long as you can get excited about those next steps, life will continue to surprise you in the best of ways. You got this!”

A pep talk I never got, but one I know my younger self would very much appreciate.